


Breathing

by watercourseway



Category: Harry Potter RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, Lifehouse, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:08:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27959696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watercourseway/pseuds/watercourseway
Summary: Angsty old RPS, my first song fic, the song is Breathing by Lifehouse
Relationships: Tom Felton/Daniel Radcliffe
Kudos: 3





	Breathing

’cause I’m hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don’t wanna speak tonight  
That’s alright, alright with me  
’cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heaven’s door  
And listen to you breathing  
It’s where I wanna be, yeah  
Where I wanna be...  
~

You are fast asleep, making cute little snoring sounds. The sight of you lying on the bed is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. The sheets don’t cover your whole body and I can see the skin of your pale chest. Your rosy nipples I liked to tickle with my tongue. It made you giggle every time. I just couldn’t get enough of it. Of you. 

~

I’m looking past the shadows in my mind  
Into the truth and i’m  
Trying to identify the voices in my head  
God, I wish it were you  
Let me feel one more time what it  
Feels like to feel alive  
And break these callouses off of me one more time  
~

I haven’t seen you laugh since that night and your smile has rarely been seen, too. You should start smiling again, Dan, it suits you so well. 

I listen to your shallow breathing for a while, enjoying the silence in the room, before I approach the bed. You move, turning from one side to the other, throwing the covers off of your body. I see your chest heaving as I come nearer, and your eyes move furiously under your lids. You must be dreaming, fighting against the demons of your nightmare once again. I look around and only now I notice dozens of tissues lying on the floor next to the bed. 

~

’cause I’m hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don’t wanna speak tonight  
That’s alright, alright with me  
’cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside your door  
And listen to you breathing  
It’s where I wanna be, yeah-ah...  
~

I kneel down next to the bed and look into your face. Your hair has gotten quite long. You still use the peach shampoo I bought you for christmas, the smell is radiating from your thick, brown hair. 

Besides that I can smell nicotine. You started smoking some time ago, one or two cigarettes a day. But the number increased, since that night. 

I observe your beautiful face, your pointed nose, your long eyelashes. And then I notice traces of tears on your cheek. Your pillow is damp from them. You move again and I see dark red streaks on your wrist. It pains me to see you like that. In pain. Broken. 

You’re blaming yourself for what happened, aren’t you Dan ? 

~  
’cause I’m hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don’t wanna speak tonight  
That’s alright, alright with me  
’cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside heaven’s door  
And listen to you breathing  
It’s where I wanna be, yeah...  
~

Then you open your eyes. They are red from crying. You stare right through me before you close your eyes again and move to lie on your back. You cover your face with your hands and start sobbing. I see the tears run down your face when I get up. 

I hear you whisper “I miss you” and wish I could tell you the same. 

I wish I could tell you how much I missed you, but instead I retreat from the bed and leave you lying there, desperate and lonely. 

It hurts so much, seeing you like that. I wish I could tell you that you’re not to blame. That it’s not you’re fault what happened that night, it’s mine. 

I didn’t see the car coming, when I crossed the street to get you some cigarettes. It only hurt the second it hit me, but soon a warm feeling flooded my body and I saw a blinding white light. As I drifted into the sky I watched you running to my lifeless figure lying on the street.

I want nothing more than to comfort you. I wish I could brush away your tears, kiss your sore eyes and hold you in my arms until you drift into a peaceful sleep. I wish I could take the burden of responsibility off your shoulders, I wish I could make you happy again. 

But I can’t. 

I have to go, I reproach from the bed and disappear, going back to where I came from, watching you from far above.

'Cause I want nothing more  
than to sit outside heaven's door  
and listen to you breathing  
Is where I wanna be


End file.
